Hybrid Horrors!

No, I am not talking about runaway Toyotas here.  I am talking about runaway marketing managers.  Why in the world do so many car manufacturers feel the need to plaster gigantic, tacky graphics over their cars proclaiming them as hybrids?  I am all for green initiatives, local organic apple pie and motherhood, but what ever happened to tasteful restraint??  Luxury and performance hybrids are a bad enough joke as it is, but can't they keep the joke to themselves?

It seems the worst offenders are the SUVs.  Both the GM and Porsche SUV Hybrids have massive "Hybrid" markings down the rocker panels as if to say "Please don't key my massive, hideous truck.  It gets marginally better mileage than the one I drove until last year!" Pathetic.  If you need to drive one of those absurd luxury barges, you should have the balls to carry it off without having to beg everyone's forgiveness, or dare I say praise.

Sports cars are also getting in on the fad for cheesy graphics.  In the old days, a supercar may have had the word "Turbo" emblazoned across it in order to advertise the fact that the car was faster than yours. But now, even supercars are getting "greener than thou," and this really turns my stomach.  Perhaps the worst offender is the new Lotus Evora Hybrid.  Not only does it have bad graphics on the side, but there is a rear window sticker on the clear engine cover that evokes circuit boards.  Can you get any more sophomoric?  And Ferrari showed off its new eco-friendly technology in Geneva by painting their show car...wait for it...GREEN! And in case you were too dumb to catch that subtle metaphor, they slapped on a tacky windshield graphic just to top it off.

I'll end here by just saying that this has to stop. Now. Please.  Last time I checked, the Tesla Roadster silently zips along producing zero emissions, and no one has to know about it but the driver and whoever can identify one on the street. Now that's earth-friendly and eye-friendly.

Happy Birthday to my GTV6

27 Years ago today, my car rolled off the assembly line at Alfa Romeo's Arese plant. It was just another Tuesday for the men who built it, but they did their job well that day.  It probably sat for about a year before it was sold, having travelled halfway across the globe to California in a container ship.  The car lived in California almost its entire life, keeping it rust free.  I was lucky to find such a great car last year, when I acquired it and brought it home to New York.  The beast is slumbering for winter, but at the end of the month, it's time to awaken it and have some fun summer adventures together. Happy birthday, GTV6!  Click the pic for more images.

Automobiliac Video of the Week: Tyrrell 6 Wheeler at Monaco

I seem to have a habit of posting onboard racing footage.  I'll try to get away from that, but in the mean time here is some more!  I particularly love this video because it is shot from a truly unique angle that I have never seen replicated anywhere else.  Not only is the camera looking down on the car, the upper portion of the bodywork is removed so you can watch Patrick Depailler as he manhandles the bizarre yet surprisingly competitive Tyrrell through the streets of Monaco in 1976.  For those of you unfamiliar with this car, yes it really had 6 wheels.  There were 4 small wheels in front that steered as well as braked.  This both increased the surface area of tire adhesion while drastically reducing frontal area and drag.  But it never caught on, thankfully, despite winning a race, and finishing well in a few others.  What did the car in, ultimately, was the reluctance of Goodyear to develop custom 10" tires for the car.  If only today's F1 rules allowed such interesting experimentation.

The Automobiliac Proposes: Vol. #2

The Automobiliac has a soft spot for all Alfa Romeos.  And this being the 100th anniversary of the marque makes it a very special year indeed.  You can look forward to some extensive coverage of the "Alfa Century" celebration in June down in Frederick, Maryland.  In order to commemorate this momentous milestone, Alfa commissioned Pininfarina to create a sexy roadster for the Geneva auto show.  The car, idiotically named the 2uettottanta, combining the words "Duetto" and "Ottanta" is a sensational design.  From every angle it really captures the feel of what a two seat open-top sports car should look like.  Best of all it shows a sense of balance, proportion, and above all restraint which I find wholly lacking from most new car designs.  Just witness the overcooked Porsche 918 concept at the same show or the truly horrific Hispano Suiza and you'll see what I mean.  And yet, I can't get myself to like the front end of the Alfa as much as the rest of the car.  I find the application of the alfa grille a little heavy, and I think the LED strip headlights, while minimalist and clean in execution, are just not giving the car a real personality from the front view.  So I chose to address this topic with this issue of "The Automobiliac Proposes."  Given the car's reference to the Duetto, which was one of Pininfarina's best designs for Alfa, and certainly its best selling (since it morphed into the Spider and was produced for decades), I decided that the front end needed to reference the original Duetto more directly.  Therefore, I transformed the LED headlights into turn signals and added headlights above them which are encased beneath a flush mounted transparent cover.  I think this feature is an improvement because it balances out the massive Alfa Grille and adds more of a "face" to the front end of the car.  Plus the way the headlights and hood line interact is very reminiscent of the Duetto.  Sure, my proposal is more conventional and less daring than what Pininfarina designed, but I happen to like it.  See the full album of stunning pictures of the real car here.

Bradley GT: Channeling your inner Burt Reynolds

Back when I was a kid, I thought the Bradley GT was a pretty neat-o ride.  But then again, since my first name is Bradley, the idea that a cool sports car shared my name was enough to catch my 6-year-old brain's fancy.  A Yellow and black one lived in the parking lot of a local gas station and whenever I'd pass by, I'd say to myself "that's my car."  But by the time I had reached that tender age of 6, the Bradley company had in fact already been shuttered for 5 years.  The idea was born in the late 60s, and was but one of many kit cars based on the stalwart VW beetle.  Perhaps another post is in order on all the various and sundry cars built on the Beetle platform, but this has got to be one of the cooler ones (as opposed to replicar Mercedes SSKs just to name one example that sends a shudder down the automobiliac's spine).  It was a swoopy fiberglass bodyshell with gullwing doors, a T-top and shag upholstery.  Basically, it looked like the love child that might have resulted from a one night stand between a Dune Buggy and an early 70's Vette at some party where the host might have had a sunken living room and a mirrored coffee table covered in blow.  Some more astute observers might compare it to a Matra 530, or even to Raymond Loewy's BMW 507 body, but let's not get carried away here: Liberace owned one in Gold with glitter metal flake.  Are we going to split hairs here? I think it's safe to say that along with Prince, the Bradley GT is one of the more outlandish things to come out of Minneapolis.

Be that as it may, the car stayed in production for about a decade (several thousand cars were made according to wikipedia) and went through two versions, the GT and the GT II.  There are still some well cared for examples about today, and many more decrepit ones.  You can pick one up for a song, compared to the price of other "desirable" fiberglass sports cars (in case a Lotus Elite is just out of your budget). I'd say go for it.

Click on the pic below to see the full page magazine ad.